sitting by the fire with everyone, taylor says out loud and i'm pretty sure only i hear her, "this is good. i'm not sad."
i know you're lonely out here and i know you want to go back to school, i know we're all kind of lonely out here but sometimes i want to say, i'm sorry you are lonely but it is because you are the kind of person who does not lie to yourself and has ten second moments of true happiness instead of droning through weeks of apathy at any given time so chances are you are most likely lonely almost all of the time in either a very passive, ignorable way, or in a violent agressive passionate way
but it's okay because i think this is the more real way to go
and i know not all happy people are lying to themselves
because sometimes i am really happy and i know some people who i think are really happy
but it seems like most of the people i know who are "happy" by, perhaps, a medical standard, are full of complete bullshit
and never really let themselves feel anything
cause they're so afraid of being pissed off or sad or hurt or angry
because it's dangerous or unhealthy
and it looks bad on your medical records
i don't even have to say, "fuck you" to these people because they've already said it to themselves
but i know i know i know i have to be kind
we have to be kind because everyone needs it
and everyone deserves it
be kind because everyone is trying really, really hard
and probably, is in some way exhausted
and matthew and i agree that
there is no way to understand people completely and the beauty and the humanity is "in the attempt", per se
and on the way home in the car he says, you know,
truth does not make a sound
