balancing bills at his desk
this is a typical saturday
he wakes up and goes to the store
comes home and cuts the grass, i plant flowers and take pictures of the sky
i take his picture, he gets supremely annoyed with me
he asks me, what the hell are you doin' maureen
i tell him i take a picture of the sky every day
he says, that's weird, you are so weird
i laugh and say, it's okay, you are so normal
i am only kidding
he is not normal to me, he is hilarious and inappropriate
i make him lunch after washing my hands
he is a silly, mathematical being
i do not understand him at all, he does not understand me at all
this is okay, i love him
it is okay, i think he loves me
well, whatever love means to him
is probably what he feels towards me
it's through accumulated hours spent in one another's general vicinity
it's through me trying my best to care about basketball games on tv
it's through him offering to pay for my new bike tires, i reject him six times
i want to pay for things myself
i feel awkward accepting your money
i love you but i don't know you
all i can think about sometimes when i talk to you is about your childhood, about your father and what he did to you and your mom
all i can think about is your paper route that you had as a young boy
and i think about my paper route now
we have the same blood, type o negative
a double recessive gene
we have the same blood
we still make no sense in the same room, the same sentence
i love you, i do not know you at all
is this possible
i do not know
perhaps it is known as family default
this makes me feel badly, i will just make you breakfast and leave the room
