ok if i ever write a book not for school it will not be called "internet feelings"
unless i write it in the usa
if i write it in south africa it will be called
"there is a twelve year old homeless person in my kitchen and he will sleep on my floor every night this weekend"
because that is the reality of the difference between what i fucking have time to think about
and then i will feel incredibly sorry for him he is wearing a magic johnson hat on his head and he is also wearing a shirt with an ocean wave on it and he is also eating every single slice of bread i have left and i will wish very hard that i had bought more bread and then i will also wish very hard that he had parents who would take care of him and then when i brush my teeth i will also wish very hard that he had a fucking sink to brush his teeth in
and then he will fall asleep incredibly quickly after eating three slices of bread, an apple, and a glass of soymilk and then ask me whether or not soymilk is milk or not and i will tell him sort of and he will eat all of my groceries and i will feel bad and he will show me a game on the internet about dealing drugs for extra points and when you get to the final level you kill the drug dealer who you buy from throughout the entire game and it is a free game because of advertising and then
you will fall asleep in hayley's empty bunk because she is staying somewhere else and you will ask me if it is okay to use the bathroom and i will want to throw up with how depressed that makes me but then i will say drunkenly yeah you can use the bathroom and i will try extremely hard to not act drunk in front of you because you are drunk a lot for someone who is twelve WHAT THE HELL and i will wish i never drank anything tonight because i had the chance of running into you outside
and then i will act as un-drunk as possible because i want to be a good role model to you
i will feel absolutely fucking terrible for being drunk in front of you and yes, that is how things will go on friday night
your faded camo pants and a pair of white socks that would be gray if they weren't worn a lot
fucking hell
can i turn off the light?
yeah, you can turn off the light
are you writing in your journal
yeah i am
that's cool
"i can't read your journal"
"why, can't you read?"
"no i can read and i would like to read your journal but it is your journal!"
"haha, ok, thanks. do you want to keep a journal?"
"yeah but it's expensive yeah"
"tomorrow i will show you how to keep a free journal"
fall asleep at midnight, you are twelve and i am the reverse of your age
i can smell you from across the room
this is not your fault
if my roommates wake up tomorrow and are pissed off that you are sleeping here then i don't fucking care
i was amazed at how much blue could fit into one afternoon
i am currently impressed with how much i look like a dalmation
freckles are taking over my world
YOU ARE TWELVE
i will think about freckles to try to refrain from becoming as emotional as humanly possible
YOU ARE TWELVE
YOU ARE TWELVE
YOU ARE FUCKING TWELVE
